How to deal with your broken heart 3: the humor amidst the tears (by Susan Tang)
I came across this author (pastor, church planter, prophet, Bible teacher, watchman/intercessor) and her teaching about five years ago. I attended a number of her seminars (all with not a dull moment). I bought all her books and read most of them, as the Spirit led me. She teaches with passion for the word of God. Her passion is infectious. But I have noted some qualities in her for young disciples of Jesus to emulate: honesty, integrity, courage and boldness, authority and power, that come from a life of living before God.
In this book, she wrote from her personal experience with the objective to heal and set free those who are hurting. However, I have read with a smile from time to time. Susan is known for her genuine human character too, her great sense of humor! I have put together some excerpts (at random) here from the book reflecting this human aspect. I believe you will smile too when you picture those incidents which had been so vividly described!
As a pastor, I had to share many experiences of hurt and heart-brokenness. Out of all these experiences, there were two that wounded me very deeply. Both of these incidents happened when I was still very young as a person and very inexperienced as a pastor. I did not really know how to handle hurts, whether on my own or others. I went to an excellent Bible School but unfortunately, I was not taught how to handle hurts. I do not believe this can be taught in the classroom….
The second experience of a broken heart concerned my housemate (Joelin)…She came to my bedroom one night, dropped herself, all 138 pounds, onto my lap and then started to sob and cry hysterically.
I held her (thinking her appendix had ruptured as she ha complained of suspected appendicitis sometimes back) and didn’t really know what to do until her younger sister, Bina, came in and told me point-blank, “That bastard Roger left her for another girl!” “Oh?” I replied. Tears started to trickle down my cheeks all the way to Joelin’s back. I couldn’t free myself to get any tissue; she had nailed me down with her 138 pounds. Bina also started crying, holding and pulling art my right leg. I did not mind the holding but I hated the pulling and rubbing her wet nose against it. Before I could tell her to stop, the youngest of the sisters, Linda, came in, held onto my other leg and did exactly the same thing!
Now after almost 12 years (31 years ago from present day), as I write about it, it seems so hilarious – four women crying themselves crazy just because one had a lousy boyfriend who got away! Sometimes women were so cooperative! At the time it happened, it was not funny. I hurt like mad for Joelin, so much so that I did not even go to work for the next two days. I was afraid she would commit suicide…
Three years later when I met Bina, who had by then already married, she told me the sad news, “Joelin is terrible. She has hurt my mom so badly…she is like the town’s prostitute.”..
Poor Joelin. One bad man called Roger hurt her and she was left wounded for life. But is it really true that life comes to an end for a person when his or her romance or marriage fails?…HOW DOES ONE COME OUT OF IT?
As Christians, we also need to truthfully ask ourselves this question: Has God left us any resources in our quest for emotional healing and wholeness? The glad answer is YES! An absolute YES! The Lord Jesus Christ is more than able to heal the broken-hearted. But we must cooperate with Him. There is definitely something we can do for ourselves in our quest for emotional healing…
STEP 1: STOP BELIEVING THE DEVIL’S LIES.
Lie 1 – “If Michael walks out on me, I’ll commit suicide for I have no reason to go on living.”
Or “If Jean leaves, I’ll die for I really cannot do without her.”
This is a lie…we are not to make another human person the sole reason for our existence..This then is the truth: GOD ALONE IS TO BE THE ULTIMATE REFERENCE POINT IN OUR LIVES, THE SOLE REASON FOR OUR EXISTENCE.
Certainly, the sense of loss, of lack and worthlessness will be there. But these feelings need not stay for good…Satan will fight to keep you in bondage to these feelings…but Satan is a liar who has no choice but to let go if you resist him steadfastly.
Lie 2 – “I don’t think I can ever love again.”
To confess such a thing is in reality to say something like this: “The past is too powerful to be forgotten and I cannot be cleansed from its influence.” Or “God is so limited. He has only given me just one person in this great big universe with whom I can be happy…”
I had a friend who was like this…she had one broken relationship and it robbed her almost totally of all joys and the meaning of living. (She stayed away from almost every place where men could be found and where she could be reminded of …the man who left her. Places included: camps, bookstores and supermarkets that sell wedding or engagement cards, even babies!). (to be continued)